The Tempter
by Magentian
Summary: Drabble. Xigbar tempts the Storm Dragon, using some rather... unconventional methods.


(Co-author credit goes to Ashura Terminus. He is Xigbar in human form… without all that crazy weed.)

It was a partly cloudy day – the perfect kind of day for lying on the beach, watching the clouds go by, chatting about times gone past, and eating a nice, healthy sea-salt ice cream pop. All of which was exactly what Sora and Riku were doing. As puffy, bloated clouds circled in the sky overhead, the duo traded tales of their adventures, catching up on the bits that each other had missed out on.

"… and then I killed him," Sora finished, sucking on his ice-cream with finality.

(That was the trouble with the Keyblade master's stories. They all ended pretty much the same way.)

Riku shook his head. "Man. That Xigbar guy sounds like such a stoner."

"Mmm." Sora pulled the stick out of his mouth. Slurring his words around the hunk of ice cream, he held the sticky piece of wood up to the sky to inspect it. "Tha' weird part ish," he mumbled, then swallowed, "apparently, he successfully tempted this dragon thing into becoming a Heartless when he was in Mulan's world. Pretty crazy, huh?"

"You've got that right," Riku said.

Sora blinked, soporifically. "Whoo. Brain freeze."

Riku was still thinking. "But… how did he pull that off? If he was such a pothead, how come he was able to succeed where so much of the Organization failed…?"

"Beats me." Sora blinked again, even more slowly, and shook his head to clear out the resounding headache. Then he glanced up at his companion. "You think too much, Riku."

Riku smiled and leaned his head back, following the shape of another mesmerizing cloud while his ice cream melted in one hand. "Yeah. You're probably right."

* * *

-Sometime in the recent past-

"HEY!" Xigbar yelled. Glancing from side to side at the mountains around him, he took a step forward and skidded down the rocky slope. He managed to come to a complete stop without faceplanting by flailing his arms wildly and screaming his head off.

Not the most dignified of solutions. But it worked.

Brushing the dust from his coat, he glanced around one last time and ducked into the cave.

Yep. This was the one, all right. Big. Empty. Dim. Rocky. Kind of dank. Very distinctive aura, as far as caves went. Plus, there was that weird breeze that whipped his ponytail around and drove snow into his eye, which he warded off with the paper baggie that he carried in his hand.

"HEY!" he yelled again, his voice echoing and distorting against the walls of the cavern. "Big dragony guy thing! You home?"

There was a foreboding rumble from the back of the cave. Two yellow eyes opened to glare at him balefully. As usual, he chose to ignore it.

"Dude," he went on, waving the baggie in the air slowly, "you won't even _believe_ this shit."

The eyes seemed to perk up. This time, the rumble from the back of the cave sounded less like a grump and more like genuine interest.

"Check it out." Carefully, he unwrapped the bag. A strange scent filled the air.

Xigbar's eye gleamed. "Breathe it in, man, go ahead. Best stuff I could find, fresh from the green fields of Twilight. Guaranteed to send you flyin' in one hit, or your money back. Or so they say."

He lowed his voice conspiratorially. "And I got a _whole pound_'a this shit with your name on it, back at home."

"_Grrrrah," _said the storm dragon in unmistakable tones of awe. Its slit-pupiled eyes dilated with need. Longingly, desperately, one wing reached out for the baggie Xigbar still clutched in his hand.

The gunner was too fast. In one smooth, exaggerated motion, he had pulled the paper bag back behind him, and was waggling a finger in the dragon's face.

"_Ah-ah-ah_. Not so fast. You get all this good shit absolutely free. On just one condition," he added, snapping his fingers. A tiny Shadow appeared, its lamplike eyes gleaming. "You gotta let my little friend here play with you. That sound all right?"

The dragon hesitated. The Shadow bobbled impatiently on the spot, nearly invisible except for the shimmer of its unearthly eyes. Somewhere deep in its wise and ancient brain, the dragon recognized the terror that should be bubbling up at the sight of such a creature.

The stormy creature _grr_ed plaintively, torn.

Xigbar leaned closer. "A whole _pound_," he reminded it.

A few moments later, the shadows closed in. Twitching antennae, bobbly heads, dark twisted limbs and shining eyes overwhelmed the darkening cave in a silent deluge. A howl echoed along the snowy peaks of the mountains, and they trembled briefly with its fury. It died away. Only the soundlessness of Shadows remained, in the fabled Land of Dragons.

And Xigbar, walking out of the cave with his beloved paper baggie still intact, whistled a happy tune as he opened a dark portal and disappeared from view.

* * *

Riku jolted awake. He was still lying on his back. The same wispy cloud formation drifted overhead. If he twisted his head and squinted… maybe it was just that dream, but it looked a little like a dragon, with something in its claws. Or… no way, never mind. Just a cloud.

"Yeah, you're definitely right," Riku muttered to the Keyblade Master, who was sleeping beside him with a popsicle stick stuck to his face. "I think WAY too much."


End file.
